Trump’s Concession Speech

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ok. So, we had an election. And wasn’t it incredible? I mean, just incredible. It’s a movement, people. I mean, give yourselves a round of applause. Just amazing. Didn’t we show them? If you wanna know the truth, the other side can’t believe it. We’ve got them on the run. Am I right?

So now it’s time for my concession speech. And of course all of the people on the left and the dishonest media and crooked Hilary’s camp are all wondering if Trump is going to accept the results of the election. What’s he gonna say? I’m telling you folks, you’ve got them shaking in their boots. Right? I’m telling you, I don’t care what the results are tonight – and we still don’t know because there’s a lot of votes they haven’t counted yet – a lot – we know who the real winners are. Don’t we? Don’t we? I think we do. And you all know exactly what I’m talking about.

We started a movement. And a lot of people are saying that we won tonight. Look around this room. Does anyone think that we lost tonight? I don’t think so. I don’t think so. And Drudge – I mean, I don’t know. There’s something going on. Those 650,000 emails aren’t going away. Right? They don’t just disappear. Melania. Was she fabulous or what? What an incredible First Lady. Look at her. But you got the FBI out there. So unless she pulls something crooked – I don’t know. And you’ve got Huma and Anthony Weiner. What do you think? Secretary of Education Anthony Weiner? I’m telling you. They’re gonna find something in those emails. I’m hearing it’s gonna be incredible. It’ll make Bridge-Gate look like – It’s probably gonna be bigger than Watergate. I’m hearing that from a lot of people. And they’re fabulous, incredible people. Like the wounded warriors. Aren’t they amazing? Amazing.

But the concession speech. Yeah, what’s Trump gonna do? They’re talking about it because they’re losing control. We’re taking back control of our nation. And they’re just terrified. You showed them, you took your country back. It’s a Brexit. And remember? I’m the one who called it, before any of them. And the African-Americans? We did fabulous in certain areas even though they tried to say that we wouldn’t. Am I right? I’m right. We didn’t need J-Lo or Mitt Romney.

And they threw everything they had at us, didn’t they. These people, this rigged system. Look at how hard they tried to defeat us, with all of their dirty tricks – and remember, all of these women, these liars – I’m going to sue each and every one of them for their lies. I mean, like I ever touched any of them, please. You saw these women. You know. But they couldn’t beat us, could they? And they tried to defeat Trump Steaks and Trump University, am I right? But after this you’re all going to go to Trump University. Who’s going to Trump University? Of course you all are. It’s gonna be so incredible, better than ever before, believe me. We’re going to bring back our jobs. Because Obama? What that man has done to this economy – he should be in prison. you hear me? The man should be in jail. Listen to this, because these are just the facts. Lets say that you, it’s 2009 when Barack Obama took office, and you want to buy a share of stock in Apple. You go out and you buy that stock for twenty dollars. After eight years of Obamanomics? That same share? You can’t buy it now. That same share of Apple – one little share – one hundred and ten dollars! You can’t afford that now? The man should be in prison for what he’s done to this economy.

But this incredible hotel were in right now, we opened it, and it’s just been incredible. Did I build an amazing company? I did. Eleven billion dollars. And now that this election is over, they’re saying that my properties are skyrocketing in value. The phones are ringing off the hook with people who wanna build more Trump properties. Everywhere. And it’s a rigged system, people. And should know. I played the game better than anyone. When I called, they all answered the phone. “Oh, Mr. Trump. How can we help you?” Nobody played the game better. And no one else can fix it. And I am going to fix it. I am. Believe me. I mean, you people wanted the birth certificate and I got it for you, didn’t I? You know what I mean

But the Latinos. We showed them. I’ve got so many of the Latinos working for me. And they’re incredible people. And they love Trump. They come up to me and they love me. They’re all saying “you’re our President, President Trump. You’re the one.” But the ratings have just been incredible. Absolutely the highest ratings for any presidential election in the history. They’re talking about the highest ratings ever. And we did the Apprentice. That was a show. I basically invented reality TV. I mean, they had it before the Apprentice. But while Crooked Hillary and Obama were founding ISIS – yeah, we didn’t forget about that. ISIS can’t believe how lucky they are. But until we came along, with the ratings. Just incredible. And they wanna bring that back, bigger than ever. And Miss Universe. But we will unite the Republican Party. And believe me, it’s more united than it’s ever been. Everyone’s saying it. And Marco Rubio? Come on. Come on. Give me a break.

But hey, what can I tell you? We’ll show them. We gotta secure the border, people. You still wanna do that, right? Wouldn’t that be great? So we could start to take our country back. And she’s still gotta answer those questions about Benghazi. Don’t think we’re going to forget about our ambassador and those others. I mean she’s starting out under a cloud. A lot of people are talking about impeachment. A lot of people. Not me, of course. It’s my concession speech, so not me. But a lot of people. They’re all calling me and saying “President Trump-” oops. Did I say that? I didn’t say that. I wouldn’t say that. I would never say that. You can say that. It’s ok, go ahead. But I didn’t say that, not in my concession speech. I have to be honorable, and patriotic, and “he has to do what’s right for the country, and respect the process.” And I do. I respect the process. Even if it’s rigged system. I mean you people know it’s a phony deal. Right? You know. We know. And Ben Carson. I mean, who needs John McCain when we have Chris Christie? But Ben Carson is fantastic.

But it’s really bigger than Brexit. We showed them. But you people have to stay on her. We don’t want Bill Clinton having a private email server in the basement of the White House. Do we? And you people know what I’m talking about. But we’ll wait until all of the votes are counted. Because there’s still a lot of votes that they haven’t counted yet. A lot. I’m hearing millions. Some people are saying tens of millions. In a lot of places. Believe me. So it’s far from over. It’s a movement. And if you read certain places. Like Breitbart and Drudge, they’re talking about a Trump Landslide. But Ivanka is here. Isn’t she beautiful? Incredible. You wouldn’t believe she’s had two kids. I mean, that body. But I can’t say that because I’m her father. So I won’t say that. But if I wasn’t her father. But I’ll work with the other side. You know. To unite this country. Because we need to rebuild our military. I mean, what’s going on is just a crime. The whole world is laughing at us. They don’t respect us anymore. We’ve got soldiers out there in a war, like Syria, and there’s no bullets in the guns. Did you hear this? Crazy. But it’s been reported. No bullets. But I’m going to do something about that. Believe me.

But we’ll see what happens. It’s not over. You people were fabulous. What you achieved tonight. It’s a victory. The other side thinks they won. But we won. And it’s my concession speech. And we’re taking our country back. It’s a Brexit. You people. You’re Brexit. And Reince Preibus. What kind of name is that. “Hello, I’m Reince Preibus.” But that’s my speech. But what a fabulous night. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

In Re: Burning Man v. White Ocean

by Russell Gewirtz

Last week marked my second Burning Man experience. My second “Burn.” Four days the first time, seven days the second. Both of them were intense. Both of them were mind-blowing. Both of them were among the greatest experiences of my life. And neither of them would have been possible without White Ocean.

So first, let’s explain what White Ocean is, and let’s dispel a few rumors. White Ocean was not a four-star hotel. No one ever cleaned out my trailer or made my bed. No one did my laundry. My trailer and all of my crap got just as dusty and filthy as everyone else’s. Here’s what it looked like after I tidied up.

            

White Ocean had trailers and it had yurts, pretty much the same as the rest of Black Rock. My trailer, for the record, was so close to the soundstage that it shook and vibrated to the beat until 10am, rendering it effectively useless for sleep. I made it through the week on three hours of sleep per night, mostly 9am-noon. In terms of physical endurance, this was one of the roughest weeks of my life.

White Ocean was not some hermetically sealed bubble, some cocoon that protected its denizens from the harsh realities of Black Rock City. We choked on the same dust as everyone else. When the wind blew on you, it blew on me.

White Ocean was not some exclusive VIP room behind a velvet rope. Any burner could easily find us and walk right on in, just like any other camp. Well, it’s nicer than most camps. But that’s not the point. The point is you walk in, sit down, say hi. No one ever stopped anyone or asked anyone to leave.

Is everyone at White Ocean rich? Definitely not. For one thing, I’m certainly not. At least not at the moment. I’ve been rich. I should be rich. I’ll be rich again soon. It costs a lot to stay at White Ocean. So a lot of us were guests of friends who could afford it. It’s good to have friends.

But let’s be honest. All camps are not created equal. White Ocean is luxurious by Burning Man standards. I never had to build, never had to cook, and I never had assigned clean-up duties, although some guests did. We did clean up after ourselves in the dining area, and I did clean up my own trailer. But I didn’t have to worry about the water level in my tank or the sewage in my whatever-it-is. These things were handled for me, by people who knew what they were doing and were paid to be there. And as far as I know, when they had completed their tasks they were free to experience the burn, which is great. Anyone I spoke to who was there to work, said they were loving the experience and would do it again. Some had been for years. Were it not for these people, many of us would probably never have made it to Burning Man.

Which brings us to the Ten Principles of Burning Man.

From my experience, White Ocean doesn’t seem to be in conflict with nine of them. Inside the camp, I witnessed the same expressions of generosity, openness, creativity, immediacy and inclusion that I experienced on the playa. No one ever said, “You can’t sit with us.”

I think it really comes down to the principle of Radical Self-Reliance. To be honest, we’re not perfect. The camp was assembled and disassembled by others. Our meals were cooked for us. And while we helped out to an extent, someone else did the dishes. But let’s not forget one thing: All of these “others” were still White Ocean Burners. They too came and felt the burn. And by the way, I didn’t help create any of the art on the Playa either. But I certainly did enjoy it.

The moment I left the camp, I was no different than any other burner. I had my camelbak, my lip balm, my goggles and my scarf, my crappy bike, my boots, my tin cup, and whatever clothing best anticipated the conditions I might find for the next however many hours my outing lasted. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t. If I ran into trouble, I didn’t pull out my White Ocean passport and pay one of the locals to transport me back to safety like some Englishman traveling through Burma. I had to rely on myself, and the kindness of fellow burners. And that was a beautiful thing.

Maybe it wasn’t radical. But it was certainly self-reliance. If the test requires 100% adherence to all ten principles, then perhaps we failed. But so would thousands of burners in plenty of camps. Frankly, I’d give us a 95/100. And that’s usually good enough.

But you know what? The day that they decided to let planes land on the playa, all of this became inevitable. First off, no one can travel in and out with all of their own food and gear on a plane. It just doesn’t work that way. Second, it brings to Burning Man some folks, like myself, who simply wouldn’t be coming otherwise. Are we different than the OG burners who preceded us? In some ways, yes. Is that such a bad thing? I don’t think so. I think that one of the things that makes Burning Man great is that it brings people together from all walks of life, (well, frankly, white people) and gives them the chance to interact in ways that simply aren’t likely in the day-to-day world. That doesn’t happen if Burning Man attracts a completely homogenous group. Camps like White Ocean, Dragonfly, Cirque Gitane, Ibiza, and many others bring some diversity. And everyone benefits from that.

Look through your pictures from the burn. See the ones where there’s some smoking hot girl posing in front of the “MAGIC” installation? She’s 5’11”, thin and sexy, wearing an Indian head-dress, black bikini, and eight-inch platform boots, and barely speaks English. She’s probably not sleeping in a tent and cooking beans over a sterno flame. Perhaps some guy flew her there with daddy’s money and put her in a nice RV in a plug and play camp. But you took a picture of her and posted it on Facebook. You want her to leave the Playa?

Last week, eighty thousand people went to Burning Man, and I’m pretty sure that most of them had an amazing time. A few people got upset. That’s all that happened.

If you’re a guy from two hours outside of Albuquerque, who works at a concrete mill, and you want to meet a Victoria’s Secret model, an international DJ, a Hollywood screenwriter (like moi, for instance), a software guru, or a Russian industrial baron, well then, White Ocean might just be the best chance that you are ever going to get. Just walk right into the so-called ‘VIP’ area behind the DJ. No one’s ever gonna stop you. Walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. You’ll get a hug, just like anywhere else on the Playa.

After that, you’re on your own. Radical Self-Reliance. Done!